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In a rather good sign of the times, ABC News reported Feb. 7. that soft drink giant Coca Cola would release an even longer version of an ad previously aired on the Super Bowl, which embraces cultural diversity. Coke’s original, 60-second Super Bowl...

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MARCH

1. The Weather: Spring is in the air. I can see the cherry blossoms blooming out my office window, and my heart somersaults. This is the time of year when saplings surge through the ground, promising to replace the dreary wet carpet of winter with a fresh growth of green. Muddied boots take a rest. Sandals are fashionable again. It's fun to step outdoors and tend to your winter-weary garden. As Margaret Atwood famously said," In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."

2. The Indian festival of Holi: "Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party." (Robin Williams) And, no better way to do that than with the great Indian festival of colors. Also known as Vasant Utsav, Holi marks the onset of spring in India. In recent years, Holi has been celebrated with much gusto both in India and abroad, proclaiming with colors and water, the vitality of the new season. Several different types of colored powder are sold in Indian stores and markets. The idea is to grab handfuls of different colors and smear all over the nearest face, self included. The aim is on friends and family, although complete strangers in this popular block party don't mind either. A word of warning: Try not to smile too wide when they return the favor. Pink teeth rarely suit everyone.
According to the Hindu calendar, Holi falls on 27th March, 2013 this year.

3. St. Patrick's Day: "It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!" Mark Twain

I don't have even a wee bit of Irish in me but something about 'wearing the green' and leprechauns just make my heart sing. Dressed in green, my fet itch to dance and my eyes spy a full keg of beer...For people of Irish descent, and those who sometimes wish they were Irish, the festival is all about feasting, copious consumption of alcohol and numerous parades. San Francisco's annual St. Patrick's Day parade and festival attracts some 100,000 revelers and is one of the city's most popualr event.

 

4. Spring break: For most parents with kids in schools and colleges, early spring signifies a short recess. Which, coincides nicely with the upswing in the weather. Which, leads to the beginning of short trips, week-long getaways and outdoor fun. Who can quarrel with that?

5. Countdown to the end of school: Spring to me means that the end of the school year is in sight. Yahoo! That's the end of homework, carpool rides, dance recitals, soccer practices and the like, that I'm forever driving my kids to. Let the countdown and fun to the end of school commence! Bye-bye Head Chauffeur. Hello, BBQ Chef and Poolside Chaperon! But, I still have the next 10 weeks to muddle through. Sigh...

Drops of Spring

           MY EXPERIENCES AT THE COCOA BEACH WRITERS’ CONFERENCE

 

            Two weekends ago I attended the Space Coast Writers Guild conference in sunny Cocoa Beach, Florida.  The conference, in its 31^st year, is small in comparison to the upcoming San Francisco Writers conference – 80 or so attendee vs. 500+ but it draws a cachet of talented agents and speakers.  This year was no exception, with big names like Jenny Bent (The Bent Agency), Sartiza Hernandez (Corvisiero Literary Agency), Gordon Warnock (Andrea Hurst Literary Management), Paige Wheeler (Folio Literary Management), Lois Winston (Ashley Grayson Literary Agency) and Stacy Abrams (Entangled Publishing) present.

 

            Self Publishing vs. Traditional Publishing:

With all the hoopla surrounding self-publishing these days (In 2008, for the first time in history, more books were self-published rather than published traditionally.  In 2009, 79% of all books released were self-published.  Amazon.com fueled the growth by offering self-published writers as much as 70% of revenue on digital books. By comparison, traditional publishers typically pay their authors 25% of net digital sales) a newbie author like me could be forgiven for thinking that self-publishing equals a home run.  Not so, according to the riveting key note speaker, Chantelle Osman.  “You can always self-publish,” she stated empathically, “but first, do the work to try and get an agent.”

 

“You need just one agent to fall in love with your work,” reiterated Paige Wheeler (of Folio Literary).  “Most agents do have your best interests at heart.  They go into the publishing industry for the love of books, not to get rich.  People go into investment banking to get rich,” she emphasized.  “So, keep working on the perfect pitch.  Realize it’s a slow business.  The dream deal may be just around the corner.”

 

            From the Agent’s Perspective:

Etiquette for wanna-be authors: Be considerate of the agent’s time.  Paige Wheeler recounted an incident where she asked for a manuscript submission, loved the work and wrote the author back with an offer.  “I’m so sorry,” said the author.  “I just signed with somebody.”  “Why did she send me her manuscript, then?” demanded Paige.  “I work on submissions.  I can’t get that time back.  It’s like a lawyer with billables.”

 

“Conferences are just verbal pitches,” states Paige.  It’s not about making the first impression.  What matters is how well you write, which is the same whether in a query or a verbal pitch.  Jenny Bent of The Bent Agency reiterated that.  “Half of my client list is authors who wrote me cold and sent me a query letter,” she said.  Conferences are not about making a connection with an agent, but about learning the craft.

 

& lastly, you must edit your work before you send it out to agents.  Stacy Abrams of Entangled Publishing believes that while you do not need to rush out and find a professional editor, you should have a circle of writer buddies or beta-readers that will catch your grammatical errors, your typos and even plot mishaps.  Remember, if more than one person is telling you the same thing, it’s time to get back to the ol’ drawing board again and figure out what’s wrong!

10 NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS THAT I WILL LIKELY BREAK

               Much like the rest of the world, ever since I was 14, I've been making New Year resolutions on January 2nd and breaking them on January 7th.  This year I determined I would do away with the tradition.  I decided I would not make any resolutions at all - something about the mocking, self-pitying look my older, wiser inner diva gives me when the undoing of the resolution is complete.

              And yet with the holidays over and the beginning of January, the familiar feeling that 2012 has released us into another year full of possibilities began to creep up on me this week.  So, yet again, I take pen to paper and write out all the things I would like to accomplish this year.

1. I WILL EXERCISE EVERY DAY: Of course I'm not alone in this - with 66% of adult Americans considered overweight or obese by recent studies, it's not surprising that weight loss is one of the most popular New Year resolutions.  That is, to say...until February.

2. I WILL SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS: Again, this is a very popular resolution.  Recent polls conducted by general Nutrition Centres, Quicken and others show that more than 50% of Americans vow to appreciate loved ones and spend more time with family and friends this year.  Again, easier said than done.  January is the month you're fired up with good spirit (no doubt aided by the good booze you've imbibed over all those holiday parties) and come February, you realize that you don't keep up with cousin Meena as much as you should cuz she's just so boring!

3. I WILL ENJOY LIFE MORE: Sanjay Gupta M.D. states that one of his resolutions this year is to act more like a kid (ref. Redbook Jan. 2013).  Given the hectic lifestyles of millions of Americans, it's no wonder that enjoying life more has become such a popular resolution.  However, come January 8th and the reminder that Uncle Sam will still come collecting...and its back to the grind again.

4. I WILL SPEND LESS TIME IN CYBERSPACE: I was in Bangkok with my family over the holidays and it struck me, once again, how difficult it is to find wifi once you leave the Western hemisphere.  And when you don't have it, by golly how much you miss it!  Beg, borrow, plead or pay, every place we stopped at, the question most asked by all 20 in our party was, "How do I get wifi?"
A good friend of mine texted me Happy New Year greetings and exhorted me to come back safe and sound.  As an afterthought she added, "Remember, safety is our second priority.  The first is the Internet".  Yeah, I believe that!

5. I WILL SLEEP MORE: More and more studies find that the less sleep people get, the worse their problems with mood get too.  I know that personally, more often than not, I can trace back the disagreements or spats I've had with my spouse, siblings or friends to a crappy mood brought on by...you've guessed it! Lack of sleep. This year I've resolved to hit the bed at 11 p.m. and wake up at 7 a.m. - the solid eight hours that I've realized over the years, is my personal required sleep fund.

6. I WILL EAT MORE CHOCOLATE, NOT GIVE UP CHOCOLATE: I've been eating dark chocolate much before it became fashionable to eat it.  The only problem - the 441 calories in the little bit of heaven that every raspberry chocolate Godiva square delivers.  Now I'm in a different bit of heaven after discovering the Meiji meltyblend of chocolates at Ranch 99 stores.  At 250 calories for 10 pieces, I can eat the whole box - and usually do!

7. I WILL APPLY SUNSCREEN: As an olive-skinned woman, I don't need to worry about skin cancer as much as my fairer counterparts, but I've fallen prey to pigmentation disorders because I failed to apply SPF 30+ sunscreen on more than one tropical vacay.  From this year onwards, that's gonna stop.  Cut to Downton Abbey, Episode 1, Season 3: Shirley Maclaine who plays the American mother of Lady Cora Grantham on meeting the dowager countess (played by Maggie Smith) remarks, " Oh dear... I'm afraid the war has made old women of us both."  The caustic dowager, never at a loss for words, retorts, "Oh, I wouldn't say that.  But then, I always keep out of the sun."

8. POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE: My first job in this country was as a sales rep. for an insurance company.  As such I had the whole Tony Robbins positive spiel brainwashed into my being.  PMA was the mantra of the day and I have to say it works. There's no one you spend more time with than yourself and your own head.  Repeating the phrase PMA to yourself 10 times a day works ...as does smiling.  There are enough studies to show that if you force yourself to smile, it may feel false at first, but something about turning the corners of your face up instead of down will actually make you feel better.

9. I WILL VISIT ALASKA BEFORE THE GLACIERS DISAPPEAR: 99% of Alaska's glaciers are retreating or thinning or both, a new book by the U.S. Geological Survey reports.  I've seen them once - admired their pristine glory and drank their pure water - and I want to behold them once before they all melt!

10. I WILL WRITE MORE - For me, personally, 2012 has been a year of new beginnings.  A novel, finally done, three edits later; and a blog that has attracted more than 2800 visitors...I'm thankful for what this new enterprise has brought me and I look forward to the rest of this journey.

       Okay, its officially January 8th, 7:31 p.m.  My inner diva is glowering at me over the top of her tortoise shell glasses - Resolution # 1 ate the dust today! Ah well, there's always January 2nd, 2014 to look forward to....

WHAT DO THE HOLIDAYS MEAN TO YOU?

Happy Holidays!

When I first came to this country, as a new bride, I was struck by the concept of the 'holidays'.  By mid-November, every commercial on the radio was rhapsodizing about the holidays as was every talk show host and, even, strangers in queue at Macy's.  I wondered why Americans were so crazy about the holidays.  It's not that growing up in New Delhi we didn't glean what Christmas was.  But in a country where Christians are in a minority, it's not celebrated with the same gusto as it is in the Western world. 

After twenty-two years in this country, I can appreciate the holidays in a whole different light.  Here are the top 10 reasons why the holidays matter to me:

1.  It's an opportunity to spend quality time with one's family and friends, enjoy good food, music and chill out.
2. The holidays mean kindness.  For some reason, people are a little bit nicer to each other around this time of the year.  It seems as if we forget the craziness of life and just for a hot minute, we come back to the simplicity of what is truly important.
3. It's a special feeling to hear X'mas music and jingles on the radio and not Rihanna's "Diamonds in the Sky" for the 108th time.
4. There's a spirit of giving in the air that's universal.  Whether it's volunteering at the soup kitchen or putting together a food drive for the homeless shelter, everyone wants to do their bit for the less fortunate.
5. It's that time of the year when the night is even darker with wind and rain drumming against the windows like a novice drum player, yet the lit-up houses and trees bring a cheer to our hearts.
6. The holidays bring out our inner child.  If you have little ones you know the special joy of buying gifts for them and having them rip through them on X'mas morning.  Hell, I secretly still wish I believed in Santa Claus!

7. I'm a 117-lb workout nut.  But the holidays are that magical time of the year when I (and everyone else I know) doesn't mind gaining a few holiday pounds - it's worth it!  And, there's always January 1st.
8. It's that time of the year when every thing's on sale.  The great deal on the Chanel bag I've been waiting for, all year long...Yess!
9. It's a time for bonuses.  HALLELUJAH!
10.  It's a spiritual time.  For Christians, it means the birth of Jesus, for those of the Jewish faith, it can represent Hanukkah.  For those of African descent, it signifies the holiday of Kwanzaa that celebrates their heritage.  For Indians, the beginning of the holidays marks the occasion of Diwali or the Festival of Lights.  The beauty of America is that it allows each one of us to be ourselves.  And the holidays are just another time to recognize that.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH & IT'S CONNOTATIONS



Tiananmen Square student protest, 1989

"I am aware that many object to the severity of my language; but is there not cause for severity?  I will be harsh as truth, and as uncompromising as justice.  On this subject, I do not wish to think, or to speak, or write, with moderation.  NO! no! Tell a man who's house is on fire to give a moderate alarm; tell him to moderately rescue his wife from the hands of the ravisher; tell the mother to gradually extricate her babe from the fire into which it has fallen; - but, urge me not to use moderation in a cause like the present.  I am in earnest - I will not equivocate - I will not excuse - I will not retreat a single inch - AND I WILL BE HEARD."
-William Lloyd Garrison on the Abolition of Slavery

This week America celebrates Freedom of Speech Week (Oct. 22-28, 2012), which got me thinking: What does free speech really mean in countries that are still grappling with the notion?

Ergo, I and my family vacationed in China this summer.  Beginning our sightseeing tour in Beijing, I was curious to view Tiananmen Square, as any living, breathing American who remembered the protests and massacre of 1989, would.

Tiananmen Square is a large, city square in the center of Beijing named after the Tiananmen Gate (Gate of Heavenly Peace) located to its north, separating it from the Forbidden City.  Leading the way with a flourish, our tour guide, a young woman in her 30's, named Linda, began extolling the features of the historic site. 

"This is the place where the protests took place, right?" I queried innocently.

My question was met with stony silence.  Linda's pleasant face was creased with worry.

"This is where the students got killed?" I tried again, in the mistaken belief that Linda hadn't heard me the first time.

This time I couldn't disavow the frightened look tugging at her eyes.  Her face clammed up and she totally ignored me.

"Time to move on to The Forbidden City," she barked rapidly, shepherding my charges quickly away from the Square.

In Shanghai, the most populous city in the world and an undisputed financial hub of the modern world, I couldn't help but notice the surveillance cameras mounted on the top of every skyscraper, hotel, park, residential building and other popular gathering spot.  According to a story in the Toronto based newspaper, The Globe and Mail, Shanghai has an estimated 200,000 spy cameras installed and anotehr 200,000 are on the way within the next five years.

"Big Brother is always watching you, ehhh?" I asked Linda.

She smiled politely at me in response, but stoically avoided my question.

Rebuffed again, I slumped back in my car seat as I pondered Salman Rushdie's words:
"What is freedom of expression?  Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist."

AN INDIAN WEDDING.....



                           
               "Fill your paper with the breathing of your heart"
                                           -William Wordsworth

Today my heart breathes, lives and rejoices in attending a 4-day family wedding.  I board the flight from San Francisco to L.A. for my husband's niece's wedding, my 14 year-old daughter in tow.  I'd like to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, tell her how nostalgic I get anytime a daughter in the family gets hitched, because it reminds me of my own dreams for her.  But she has her nose glued to the window as we take off.  Midway through the flight, I lean in to talk to her again, but I find her furiously scrolling down her I-phone to catch the latest gossip about the school dance on Facebook.  And so, the moment passes.

To me, a Sikh wedding resembles a play in a theater.  A moving tableau of pictures, with emotions ranging from ecstasy to weepy.  The pre-wedding rituals begin with the Sangeet - a music and dance function; an evening of musical entertainment and merriment usually hosted by the bride's family.  A successful Sangeet party is one where everybody under the age of 60 is drunk and gyrating on the dance floor to Bhangra music in wild abandon.  Drinks are free-flowing, as are the chicken tikkas and chapli kababs. 

Hungover and hurting, you hurl out of bed the next day to attend the shagun or engagement.  This is a religious ceremony that typically takes place in a Gurudwara (Sikh temple).  The mood is solemn and decorous - the priest sings hymns of gratitude and invokes the name of the merciful Lord who will oversee the child's future, which her parents no longer can.  The occasion is marked by the families of the prospective bride and groom exchanging gifts in order to confirm the engagement of the couple.  The meal that follows is alcohol-free and vegetarian. 

Next day is the mehendi - the henna ritual where the bride's hands and feet are decorated with intricate patterns colored with henna.  Native lore has it that darker the color that sets on the skin the
deeper the love the bridegroom has for his bride.

The 4th day of festivities culminate in the wedding, which is a religious ceremony.  A Sikh wedding always takes place before noon.   The groom arrives on a bejeweled, white horse.  Family members dance in front of the horse as it trots at a gentle pace, and the entire procession called a baraat arrives at the Gurudwara accompanied by a deafening display of drums and vigorous dance. 

After a light breakfast, the groom's family settle inside the main hall of the temple and the bride makes a grand entrance with her bridesmaids.  The clothing has gotten more elaborate and ornate with each successive event.  At the wedding the bride wears a showy lehnga or salwar-kameez in red or pink.  The groom is similarly attired in a fancy sherwani with intricate embroidery and a traditional turban, with a huge, sparkly jewel attached to the tip of the turban.

It's all very romantic and vibrant - the bride sneaking a furtive glance at the groom underneath her mascaraed lashes, then blushing furiously when caught batting her eyelashes at the groom by the roomful of curious onlookers, the swagger of the groom as he tightens his grip on his ceremonial sword before making the nuptial rounds.   Everybody watches as the bride and the groom take the ceremonial 4 rounds around the Holy scriptures, the bride following behind the groom at a measured pace.

The nuptials are followed by lunch, and thereafter, by the doli or the traditional giveaway of the bride to the groom's family.  Not an eye is dry in the house when the oldest family member does ardas (prayer) for the girl's well-being in her new home. Family members are often reminded of days gone by, when arranged marriages were wrought with a real fear of the unknown for their daughter.

The plane skids to a halt on the tarmac.  I want to share the introspection I've experienced in reflecting on this cultural extravaganza.  I turn once again to my daughter.  "Let me tell you about Punjabi weddings, " I begin to launch into my parable.  "Save it, mom," she says crushingly, as only a 14-year old can, who knows nothing of nostalgia and its sad math.  Sigh:(

The doli decorated in a traditional manner